missing my ring + a few pictures

today i ventured out to take some fall pictures.

the leaves have been falling and i had an hour to spare.

so i took some pictures, got really cold and headed to class.

right as a i pulled into my parking place, i realized i was missing something.

my wedding ring.

i remembered it had started to slide off at the park and i pushed it back onto my finger.

sometime between then and getting into my car, it slid off.

thus, the fall leaves at ross park swallowed up my wedding ring.

sadly, there is no happy ending. {yet..?}

i've been back there 4 times today frantically looking {even with a metal detector}.

nothing.

i've cried and prayed and prayed and cried.

hopefully it will turn up.

it is my most favorite possession.

On a completely different note, here are some pictures of my hair.

blonde.

a story

3 years ago, there was this girl.

& she thought it would be awesome to write derogatory words all over my truck.

multiple times.

it made me really sad that even after high school, people would still act like that.

i wanted to plot revenge so badly, but that made me feel worse.

also. that's not my style.

i never caught her red handed, but i knew who was responsible.

she was green eyed over a boy i had been involved with.

she was a mean girl.

& still probably is.

i saw this lovely girl at the fair this weekend.

and i was so glad that i didnt waste time plotting revenge.

karma did my bidding for me and bit homegirl in the legs, stomach and bum.

you see, she got fat!

a courtly story

no matter how hard i try to persuade him, alan will never admit that life wants to and will succeed in screwing you.
no matter who you are.
pardon my brash choice of words.

but last week i got him a little closer and i could tell he wanted to admit it.
because life took him to court.

________________________________

i know how white trash that sounds.
no, he wasnt overdue on his child support check.
no DUI
no trespassing
not even for lighting fireworks illegally. (yeah, they're illegal here. and that is obviously the most plausible in A's case.)
apparently, the city of chesapeake has a problem with soliciting without licensing.
and, although homeshield said they would pay the fine..
it still landed his a in court.

everything went fine by the way.
he was afraid they would issue him community service.
but alas, just a hundred dollar fine.
and we even went and got doughnuts afterward.

its been a few days so i think we can now deem it as funny.

fin

here's a story with a drawn out moral that kindof makes no sense

for my eighteenth birthday, i decided that i was going to get something peirced.

I know.

my friends and i planned it out. we'd go the the snakebite to grab dinner and then go to synergy and get my monroe pierced.

i'm not even kidding.

i thought i could totally get away with it and my parents would never know because i could put the clear stud in. this is comlpetely laughable becuase you can still totally tell when someone has one of those in. especially in their face.

{i dread having teenagers by the way. the thought process behind all of this is ridiculous}

so the day came and my ladies aloo and jessi came and got me. I think ali was there too, which is hilarious because she is pretty straight and narrow.

anyway, we went to dinner and then walked over to synergy.

on the walk over, i decided that i really didnt want to risk my parents finding out about my monroe. i chickened out. and decided that they would never know if i got my belly pierced.

and i did it.

i kindof cant believe it, because i hate having my belly button touched. and they had to clamp that sucker and stab it.

but. it doesnt hurt that bad, bytheway.

and its not like i stopped going to church or anything.

I was in seminary. every day. usually.

i wasnt a courtney love sort of mess.

I just reallly wanted to be rebelious, i suppose.

oh and also, a few days later, i went with laurel to get a second stud in my ear.

i have no idea what i was doing.

like my mother wouldnt see that.

or the super righteous boy in my seminary class that i'd been crushing on.

basically, both piercings were out of my body within the next 4 weeks. i decided i liked that boy and i was getting the impression that he kindof was into me and i knew he was not impressed with the metal residing in my body {i ended up dating this boy for several months, if you were wondering}. i decided i needed to be better than that. i had been taught that it was not the way i should treat my body.

i was going to let the holes heal around the studs and then remove them. belly piercings get infected really easily.

but mommy had different plans.

she strongly suggested that i take them out and keep the holes slathered in neosporin and i had a band aid on my belly button for weeks.

nothing got infected so i guess her way was fine.

i still have a little bitty scar thats been reminding me of that crazy lady i once was.

and i dont regret it a little bit.

here is me as an 18 year old. obviously i took alot of pictures of myself. but i kindof love that girl. she was fun.

and the moral of the story is that i feel like i'm getting back to the girl i used to be. i'm not telling you that i'm going to go get a piercing. or tat. i would never do that now.

i just think i've been bogged down since i moved to college. i gained 15 pounds. i chopped off my hair. i had to pay rent. friends come and go. dating. then i got married. we had to find places to live. pay for school. survive school. eat. panic attacks. whathaveyou. moved to virginia. lonely.

the first year of school and that first year of marriage were both a struggle.

but now, my hair is the length it was when i cut it. i've lost almost 20 pounds. alan graduated and we have a better financial situation. school is school, but i'm getting close to finishing up. this time virginia has given me some good me time, and i'm usually not too lonely.

basically, i'm saying that im getting back to the basics of the person i really am.

this was probably just a really bad story to illustrate that.

ha.haha.

(and for my mom and my mother in law, if you read this and are concerned about me, you may search my body for piercings when i get back. i understand if you wonder who your son married.... i'm sure my mom would not be pleased about me sharing. its been long enough that its funny now.... i think)

that day when i got things done because Bach made me

Most people hate having to write papers {especailly long ones} for school.

I was one of those people...

You see:

I am the kind of person that doesnt do laundry until I have one day of underwear left.

And, I can never find it in myself to pick up my clutter. Or clothes

It would be unheard of for me to cook food for no reason.

Or paint my nails.

Or write an interesting blog post.

Or watch Netflix and eat said cupcakes

It would only be fitting that I would hate to write a legnthy paper.

However, all those things that I never can find it in myself to do, even when I have nothing going on, get done when there's something I would like to do even less. Thus, I must do these things to put off that thing.

I really like terrible school requirements. They make everything else so much easier.

And if you cant tell how tongue in cheek i'm being....then maybe you should come write my paper for me. I'm having a hard time using anything less than a snarky tone when discussing Bach....

This is literally a text conversation from my life.

A couple of months ago, I had this exact conversation with my sister via text.

It made me pee a little bit while I was receiving the texts, and a little bit even more when I went back and read them again. OMG. Seriously, if you have to pee a little bit, go now. This story will still be here when you get off the pot.

{spellings and mispesllings and word usage have not been tampered with whatsoever. THey just enhance this conversation}

Veronica: hello(: This is Veronica

Me: Sup

Veronica: my life sucks and im afraid im gonna die

because i accidentally took too much tylenol earlier

and apparently its gonna kill me now.

how about you?

Me: Um, how much did you tale

Me: *take

Veronica: I dont even know..

like 2 and then 2 more

but its definately made me high

and it was a total accident

because i forgot i already took some

like 30 mins b

Veronica: efore...and it was at school.

but please dont tell mom and dad.

i am not a druggie.

Me: MMk first of all.

I took like 8 tylenols every day

through every basketball season i was in.

Secondly, you would have to take alot

more tylenol than that to get high.

Your mind is trickingyou.

Veronica: okay..good to know. thanks

Veronica: gotta go bye

Seriously?!

Are you peeing?

REdic!

I really want to be best friends with her.

Oh...

I already am.

See? I am a valid human being.

Because I once had a song written about me. Story: When I was in 9th grade, I had this kindof boyfriend. We were 'going out'. You know, where you have sort of claim on each other till someone gets bored and writes you a note in second hour to be passed to you in third by a good friend? This was back when people were lucky to have a relationship last 2 weeks. Such the best. I was the sort of fifteen year old that needed to be different to make up for the fact that mom and dad would not buy me clothing from Abercrombie. So I cut my hair in a ridiculous fashion and dyed it black. I listened to music that made my parents roll their eyes, exchange disgusted looks and pray that it was ' just a phase'. You would have called me emo. {Obviously these details are slightly embarrassing as I really had nothing to be emo about other than teen agnst. Feel free to judge me.} At this time in my life, people liked to form bands and play at 'shows'. They would basically compete to be the band that you most definitely could not tell what words were being used, (or if it was in English) among the death sounds emitted from the lead 'singers' mouth. My kindof boyfriend was in one of these bands. I'm pretty sure from here you know the story. We broke up, via (I cant remember but I'm guessing) written message passed by a friend and he being heartbroken, wrote a sweet symphony about the perfect being I am and of course we got back together and got married. Almost. Actually, I must have done something wrong (again I couldn't tell you what..i've erased all of junior high from my memory) because the song was titled 'Mel is a B****'. Obviously we had a very troubled relationship and probably should have been seeing a counselor, but us emo kids had to write it out (or cut it out..though I never did that, so we're clear). Eventually though, we made amends and were friends and the lyrics got changed to 'Mel is an..Amazing Person'. I was even lucky enough to hear the band play it in concert later that year. It was an amazing song of course, although sadly, I was unable to distinguish actual words amid violent screams and amped up overpowering guitars.

So, anytime I feel that I am of no worth, that he's better and she's prettier, I remember that I was special enough to be subject of a hardcore anthem. I bet you cant say that much.

Oh and p.s. we did not get married. I dont really know where he is, although I believe we are facebook friends?

Ouch

After getting rained out at the beach, feeling fat and tired and not being able to find ANYTHING that fits, and is cute AND modest while at the mall, I was (and still sort of am) having a really rough day....

And then it hit me.

I am turning into one of those girls.

You know, the ones that have a bad day..SHOPPING.

ouch.

Surprise! I am actualy not gay! Or emo!

As a teenager, I had many guilty internet pleasures. (Not PORN!) More like, learning HTML codes, so that I could make my Myspace unique and envi-able. Also, filling out countless quizzes that ask questions like 'Who was the last person you kissed?' or 'Name three things you do every day.' Taking pictures of myself specifically for myspace was a folly of mine as well. I loved making lists in my early blogging days about my favorite music, or 20 things you don't know about me. I will admit to you right now that I still enjoy this phenomena. It's not that I find my life amusing by any stretch. I would say I am average in many regards. Its that I was 15, or 16, or 17 even 18&19..and occasionally 20 and felt the need to talk about myself without interruptions. In the past few years, I have become the girl that paraphrases a story so much that it basically is disinteresting. Even if it was juicy to start with. I never want to talk about myself for too long because I want to avoid being selfish as well as being rudely interrupted.

Why am i writing about this?

I decided days ago that I would do some soul searching this summer. Being jobless and alone all day gives me that luxury. Though it may come off that all i do is write blogs about (a)nothing and (b)Adam Brody (who is slowly becoming my most used post subject label ), I have been dissecting why I do the things I do, and why I am me. Its become apparent that I have had a self loathing problem that needs fixing. I thought I would start with the fact that I have a 'Titling problem'. That is, a precursor title that lets you know that you're about to read might be lame, but in my head, you can't judge me for it because I warned you. (Such titles include, but are not limited to 'If you didn't already know how homo I am', 'I'm gay', etc.) Now that my little sister does the same exact thing, I realize that it just makes you look idiotic.*More so than just putting your quiz out there with a "regular" title. So there's that.

Also, I realize this post is long. I would never use such time to express myself in person unless you are a close friend, and probably not even then. But, I don't think I will apologize for the legnth. I dont really feel like it tonight.

I however, do feel like holding off of the Adam Brody Label for the sake of not seeeming pathetic(but I still am, hahahahha). I think this will fall under Weird things I do, and ☮. I dont have a specific instance that I use the peace sign to label, other than that I feel like it at that particular time.

*I don't think she's an idiot per say, but I do know that she is 14. Which is kind of an idiot age, really. Love her:)

A pregnant little mishap, and no..I ain't expecting.

You know how in relief society, they pass around a big binder full of...stuff? (you know...who wants to feed the missionaries, who wants to babysit, etc.) Well..there was a paper asking who was leaving for the summer. I noted that no one's name was written down and I saw the paper behind it was the one with all the names. Diligently, I began writing my name on the sheet with all the names. After filling it out, some bolded print caught my eye. Due Date? "Is that a cute way of asking the day we're leaving?," I thought to myself. I shortly realized I had put my name on the EXPECTING sheet. For those of you that can still see through the blacked out, almost ripped-from-the-ball-point-pen-paper:

Expecting a Baby?

Melissa Bodily May 5th

please disregard this allegation.

I am so not pregnant.

I am so not 8 months along.

And I am so not observant.

Haha, and all that Jazz.

I really just want a pup.

:)