03 June 2011

here's a story with a drawn out moral that kindof makes no sense

for my eighteenth birthday, i decided that i was going to get something peirced.
I know.

my friends and i planned it out. we'd go the the snakebite to grab dinner and then go to synergy and get my monroe pierced.
i'm not even kidding.
i thought i could totally get away with it and my parents would never know because i could put the clear stud in. this is comlpetely laughable becuase you can still totally tell when someone has one of those in. especially in their face.
{i dread having teenagers by the way. the thought process behind all of this is ridiculous}
so the day came and my ladies aloo and jessi came and got me. I think ali was there too, which is hilarious because she is pretty straight and narrow.
anyway, we went to dinner and then walked over to synergy.
on the walk over, i decided that i really didnt want to risk my parents finding out about my monroe. i chickened out. and decided that they would never know if i got my belly pierced.
and i did it.
i kindof cant believe it, because i hate having my belly button touched. and they had to clamp that sucker and stab it.
but. it doesnt hurt that bad, bytheway.

and its not like i stopped going to church or anything.
I was in seminary. every day. usually.
i wasnt a courtney love sort of mess.
I just reallly wanted to be rebelious, i suppose.

oh and also, a few days later, i went with laurel to get a second stud in my ear.
i have no idea what i was doing.
like my mother wouldnt see that.
or the super righteous boy in my seminary class that i'd been crushing on.

basically, both piercings were out of my body within the next 4 weeks. i decided i liked that boy and i was getting the impression that he kindof was into me and i knew he was not impressed with the metal residing in my body {i ended up dating this boy for several months, if you were wondering}. i decided i needed to be better than that. i had been taught that it was not the way i should treat my body.
i was going to let the holes heal around the studs and then remove them. belly piercings get infected really easily.
but mommy had different plans.
she strongly suggested that i take them out and keep the holes slathered in neosporin and i had a band aid on my belly button for weeks.
nothing got infected so i guess her way was fine.
i still have a little bitty scar thats been reminding me of that crazy lady i once was.
and i dont regret it a little bit.

here is me as an 18 year old. obviously i took alot of pictures of myself. but i kindof love that girl. she was fun.

and the moral of the story is that i feel like i'm getting back to the girl i used to be. i'm not telling you that i'm going to go get a piercing. or tat. i would never do that now.

i just think i've been bogged down since i moved to college. i gained 15 pounds. i chopped off my hair. i had to pay rent. friends come and go. dating. then i got married. we had to find places to live. pay for school. survive school. eat. panic attacks. whathaveyou. moved to virginia. lonely.

the first year of school and that first year of marriage were both a struggle.
but now, my hair is the length it was when i cut it. i've lost almost 20 pounds. alan graduated and we have a better financial situation. school is school, but i'm getting close to finishing up. this time virginia has given me some good me time, and i'm usually not too lonely.

basically, i'm saying that im getting back to the basics of the person i really am.
this was probably just a really bad story to illustrate that.


(and for my mom and my mother in law, if you read this and are concerned about me, you may search my body for piercings when i get back. i understand if you wonder who your son married.... i'm sure my mom would not be pleased about me sharing. its been long enough that its funny now.... i think)


  1. I REALLY loved reading this. I think after I got married (and especially after I had Ava) that I sort of....lost myself somewhere along the way. Or the me I wanted and was always planning on being. Not that I don't love being a wife and mom. Anyways, I'm rambling and you probably didn't want to know any of this anyways, but just....thanks for posting this. It remotivated me. :) I was at a really great place when I was 18.... so I hope to be some (a little more mature) version of my 18 year old self again soon.

  2. I am afraid for my future. I never had a rebellious stage... It is coming, I know it.