06 September 2010

still hopeful

I keep waking up at 6 a.m. from terrible dreams.
I seem to mess up everything.
I'm feeling like I am the only one who believes in myself.
My skin is in turmoil and my body wont adjust to the dry air.

I also cant seem to let my painfully. humanly. real sorrows from leaking onto this page.

and yet, I keep living. surviving.
I have the best husband and family. alot to be thankful for.
I am startled by the accomplishments I make.
(and I love my little skirt we bought today)
I finally have stopped letting my anxiety rule me.
Neglect and failure are starting to fuel my fire.

So, despite YOU, they, he and she, Mr. and Mrs., Dr., them.
Despite all of you people who think I'm nothing, worthless, not part of the group, not pretty enough or skinny enough, not talented enough, not social enough, unoriginal, and so on and so forth ...
To you:
You're all wrong.
I'm still standing.
Not backing down.
Never giving up or letting go.

I'm here to stay.


  1. Love you.
    & if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here. :)

  2. A) freaking heck, I'm so far behind on your blog.
    B) Never let the ever elusive "them" get to you.
    C) I sort of always feel like not fitting in with everyone is a sign that hopefully in the real world I'll stand out as someone different... different enough to hire?! something like that.
    D) Chin up. Love your face.